Would you kindly step back from that ledge, sir?

"Sir, you should take a look at this. It's amazing what some people write these days: Let [Muslims] rot back in the dust bowl they came from."

"You know, I've gotta say-- I totally agree with that guy. God, Muslims really just poison our democracy. We should get rid of them."

"What, by pre-emptive nuclear action?"

"Exxxcellent idea... exxxcellent."

"Well, I was merely being ironical."

"What? Anyway, it still stands that Islam is an inherently violent religion since I'm always hearing about Arab guys blowing shit up in the name of Allah or whatever."

"Isn't it possible that Allah would rather they spoke for themselves?"

"Oh God no... Jesus, who the hell is Allah, anyway?"

"Ahem, well, let's get back to the point. So you don't think we could peacefully coexist in an inclusive secular society?"

"Huh? Listen, all I have to say is that if they call me a godless infidel one more time...!"

"Um, sir, would you please wipe the rabid foam from your mouth."

"Youuu commie BASTARD!"